Self-Eulogizing

There is little to be said of Shayne, as the life he lived was a short one. As such, there are few accomplishments for praising. Most, at that point in life, have yet to achieve much, surely; he was no exception. What can be said of Shayne, however, is that in life, his presence impacted those around him. He is remembered by his family and friends whom he took pleasure in knowing. He enjoyed much of the life he lived despite his complaints. Unfortunately, this coffin does not contain his corpse, as the body has yet to have been found. We will just have to pretend it is here though, because he was last seen setting sail into shark-infested waters on a makeshift raft crafted entirely out of meat. Perhaps he would have had a better chance of surviving if only he had waited to recover from spinal surgery before attempting such a feat. We can never know why he chose to do such a reckless thing. It was actually rather uncharacteristic of him, as he never was much of a daredevil. Perhaps he resorted to such things because his creativity failed him when it came to other undertakings: writing a eulogy as a completely random example. Of his regrets, one is that he didn’t get enough sleep most nights, and on the nights he did, it was only because he did not spend enough time trying to actually think of more interesting ways to do things. Indeed, he was rather lazy at times. May he rest in peace.